Pipedream Deluxe Vibro Balls
Love-Hate Relationships
Guest Review!
This month's review is brought to you in part by:
G
I purchased the Pipedream anal beads several months before G contacted me, but I never removed them from the box because I didn't have the time or opportunity to test them out yet. When I met with G, she handed me a velvet bag from her purse and asked me to guess the type of toy. By simply shaking it, I recognized immediately the telltale jostle of the balls and felt excitement well up. During our interview, she provided a glorious recollection of her adventures with the Deluxe Vibro Balls and could not praise them highly enough. Fueled by her encouragement, I drove home that evening and immediately tried them out...to incredible disappointment. Yet it was an experience that still satisfied me because it reminded me of my own advice: take what you hear with a grain of salt. So I will also butt into the spotlight and provide my review alongside G's to offer two sides of the same coin.
Both G and I purchased our Vibro Balls online (as is generally my recommended custom). G, having lost most of her toys in a fire, purchased the balls from an online adult site (name unknown) in an attempt to start from scratch. Anal toys were always a default for her, so she sought out a previous member of her collection to begin again with. Although she can't remember the exact purchase price, she recalled it was inexpensive, roughly around $20. I purchased mine from Amazon for about $13 on a whim since trying out anal beads consistently topped my sexy to-do list. The claim of "natural vibrations" from the weighted balls inside intrigued me because you may recall my necessity for that sort of stimulation. Normally the Pipedream Deluxe Vibro Balls retail for $24.95, a fair enough price but bordering on expensive for the size and nature of the toy.
The overall length of the Vibro Balls is 17.4 in (44.2 cm) with an insertable length of 10.8 in (27.4 cm). Each ball has a 3.9 in (9.9 cm) circumference/1.25 in (3.2 cm) diameter placing them on the higher end of anal bead sizing. G absolutely loves their size though, claiming the balls are large enough to provide excellent stimulation without being too large to cause pain. She adores the way each one feels going in and out of her body and really notices the girth and pressure once inside. The balls for me, unfortunately, are borderline too much to handle when inserted. I find the balls manageable going in but unfortunately, unlike G, they are next to unnoticeable once inside of me. I only feel a slight pressure and mild weight shift when moving around caused by the interior balls rolling about. As for removal, the first ball is almost pleasurable but rapidly gives way to pain and exhaustion when attempting to remove the entire string. The unyielding nature of the plastic does not help either.
The balls themselves are made of ABS plastic with a smooth and slick surface except for a slightly raised seam running through the center where the pieces connect after the manufacturers placed the weighted ball inside. A nylon cord attaches all four balls roughly an inch (2.5 cm) or so apart from one anther. Two majors factors arose when I researched the quality of the Vibro Balls before purchasing mine. One dealt with the seam causing users pain and requiring filing down before use. The other questioned the integrity and cleanliness of the cord. G said she experienced no issues with this seam and never had problems cleaning the entirety of the toy including the cord, which she claims can also take a good hearty yanking without worrying about snapping. The balls especially are easy to clean, and she feels confident with the overall quality of the anal beads. I noticed a slight ridge to the seam once inside me, but nothing of major concern. However, I couldn't help worrying over the actual quality of the plastic. While ABS plastic is technically safe, it is very cheap and not necessarily something you want to have inside you for extended periods of time. My nervousness regarding the integrity of the cord never passed despite G's reassurances so I never truly tested the strength of it. And after one use, the cord smelled terrible despite the extra measures I took cleaning and prepping myself and scrubbing the toy thoroughly twice afterwards. The plastic still had a lingering stench, and the cord smelled like I hadn't bothered to wash it at all. It repulsed me so much, I eventually threw the whole thing out.
G uses the Vibro balls both solo and with her partner. While great on its own, she claims it's best when combined with something vaginally such as a dildo or a dick. The addition of an object enhances the pressure inside, and if she uses it in tandem with her boyfriend, he also benefits from the sensation. If he provides a little tug or yanks the entirety out of her during sex, it drives her over the edge without fail. It offers excellent foreplay opportunities and assistance during sex while requiring little to no coaxing to push inside her. The vibrations are also quite pleasurable for both her and her boyfriend. The small size makes for easy packing when on the road or traveling, so why leave home without it? Effective and reliable. Easy, breezy, beautiful: Pipedream.
My experience, on the other hand, is much less optimistic. Although an anal toy, I tested it vaginally first out of curiosity to avoid cross-contamination later on. While nice, it was nothing near orgasm-inducing even when paired with my Shibari Halo Wand. Using it anally turned into an unpleasant endeavor. Again, I paired it with "Magic Mic" and asked my lately to assist by tugging and jostling the cord. And again, it felt nice but devolved into a painful annoyance after a few minutes. Then came the removal. During my session, the balls somehow twisted around themselves inside of me so the cord knotted around the middle. When clumped together, it was impossible for me to push them out without tearing something, so I reached inside me to blindly untangle the balls and tug them out one by one. It was painful and left a horrible and disgusting mess in its wake. The vibrations too were weak and barely noticeable. I really needed to dance and shimmy to mildly feel them rolling back and forth, but they never clacked to produce a notable shock wave. Overall, the experience was tedious with unpleasant results and discouraged me from trying again.
G's Summary
Size: ★★★★★
Cost: ★★★★★
Texture: ★★★★☆
Material: ★★★★★
Ease of use: ★★★★☆
Effectiveness: ★★★★★
Final rating: ★★★★★
My Summary
Size: ★★☆☆☆
Cost: ★★★★★
Texture: ★★★☆☆
Material: ★★★☆☆
Ease of use: ★☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ★★☆☆☆
Final rating: ★★☆☆☆
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